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The following article is satire.

Valentine’s season is here. Many rush to plan romantic gestures. High school boyfriends? They’re scrambling for the cheapest, easiest gift. Sometimes even fully forgetting about the holiday. It is the thought that counts, even when there are no thoughts. Here is a cautionary tale of Freddy and Rosie Valentine’s Day date.

Rosie Mclove: I hummed as I wrapped up the sweatshirt, tucking a box of chocolates into the gift bag. It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m so excited; I’m hoping he puts as much effort into his gift as I did since we have been dating for a little over a year. He did ask what I wanted, and I told him I wanted my favorite flowers, lilies. Hopefully, he remembers I’m severely allergic to roses. He said he had everything handled. So I’m just counting the seconds until tonight!

Freddy Frugal: Oh my god! It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m such an idiot. How could I forget? What am I gonna do? I haven’t gotten her anything and I really don’t have the money to spend. It’s fine, just stay calm and you can easily find something. She loves flowers. I can easily find some, just which ones? It’s not like Valentine’s Day is that big of a deal anyway, it’s just an excuse to get people to spend money on candy and flowers. It’s the thought that counts.

Rosie Mclove: It’s already 3:00. I better start getting ready. That’s weird, Freddy hasn’t texted me yet today. It’s fine, this must mean he is working hard on our plans for tonight. We just had a conversation about doing more than just chill at his house on dates and being a better communicator. I mean, we have been dating for over a year. I know this will be the best Valentine’s yet.

Freddy Frugal: The flower shop is pretty bare only a couple bouquets left, one bouquet of rose and one of lilies *rushes into the store grabbing the first things he sees*…Roses? I think these are her favorite flowers. Ok, this should work.

Rosie Mclove: *texts Freddy* So excited for our date tonight! Just checking in to see if there is a plan.

Freddy Frugal: *Frantically texts back* So excited for our date but I’m thinking we should keep it a little more lowkey and hang out at my house, it will be so fun! I’ve got some great stuff planned: pizza, board games, and a movie. It’s a perfect night!

Rosie Mclove: My stomach sinks as I process what Freddy said. Wait… just a chill normal night? Isn’t that what we always do when we hang out? I guess it’s the thought that matters. You know what, hopefully, he remembered to get my favorite flowers. This just shows he must be comfortable enough with me that he doesn’t feel the need to put in any extra effort. That’s something? Right?

Freddy Frugal: Gifts? Check. Pizza? Check. Movie? Check. She will appreciate this, I can picture her face just lighting up when she sees the flowers. I can even give her a little speech about why I got her roses. I can say “I got you these roses because they remind me of your beauty and they show you that the little things are what’s important”

The more Freddy rehearses this speech the more confident he is that he perfected valentines not even giving a second thought to Rosie’s Allergy.

Rosie Mclove: “Hi Freddy, I’m here!” I call as I walk in the door. Hmm, I wonder why it smells like roses. At least my gift for him is perfect. I can’t wait to give it to him.

Freddy Frugal: “Rosie, you’re here! Let me give you your gift!” I pass her the flowers. I know she will love them!

Rosie Mclove: I reach for the gift and unwrap it. These don’t look like lilies, they’re red. As I start to pull the flowers out I smell a surprising scent: ROSES!? My nose gets itchy. I feel the unstoppable sneezes coming. I can feel my face getting itchy and swelling up. The hives are starting. How could he forget I’m extremely allergic to roses?

Freddy Frugal: “What’s wrong? Why is your face getting red? I thought roses were your favorite. Oh… oh no.. no… ARE YOU ALLERGIC? I completely forgot!”

Rosie Mclove: “Freddy, get your car! I need to go to the hospital now!!” I barely get out in between sneezes.Three hours and a steroid shot later we were back on the couch. Freddy looks so proud of himself despite all the chaos.

Freddy Frugal: *Smiling* “Welp, talk about a perfect night, huh? We’re back in front of the TV. Cold pizza? Check. Movie? Check. No more allergic flowers? Check. What a successful evening I knew this would be a great date.”

Rosie Mclove: *Sigh* “Oh yeah Freddy, I couldn’t have asked for a better night… Aside from, you know, going to the HOSPITAL. But hey it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Freddy Frugal: “Now I know for next year I’ll get you a gift card or something that can’t give you an allergic reaction.”

Rosie Mclove: “Next year just get me an Epi-pen because at least you won’t forget that.”

Freddy Frugal: “Ohhhh it just came to me that your favorite flowers are actually lilies.”