Beyon- Say What?


Beyoncé holding up The Eye of Providence, revealing her true Illuminati origin.

*The following article is satire.

The beloved Beyoncé is a sparkling star of American pop culture. Born in 1981, her singing career took off by the 90s. Her various hit songs, such as Halo and Single Ladies, contributed to her net worth; today it is $440 million. After becoming a famous millionaire, what would one do with all of that money? Being rich can make one’s lifestyle change drastically. Money can create power, but what happens when too much power goes to one’s head? While the answers to these questions are opinionated, we do know one thing. And that is that wealth has power. And what is more powerful than a wealthy power group? That is why I believe that a wealthy power group, the Illuminati, is real. I mean, if you are super-rich, why not be in the Illuminati? When people suffer, who is held responsible? Who is “playing God” in our horrid society? Well, from endless research and long nights of deliberation, I believe that that person is Beyoncé.
Founded by German law professor Adam Weishaupt with the aim to harness power through money, the Illuminati is a power group run by “the elites”. They have the power to influence political decisions and generally control the economy. This extremist secret society has been around for over 200 years. The Illuminati seems to persist in our collective consciousness. Deep in all of our minds, the people of this world are subconsciously being influenced by the Illuminati. We are not free.
The Illuminati has a secret signal for their supporters used to display their support. This sign is a hand signal that is made when both of your hands come together forming a triangle. This triangle is the Illuminati’s symbol, or in other words, “The Eye of Providence”. Beyoncé has been seen countless times doing this symbol at concerts or public events. Only a true supporter or member of the Illuminati would be displaying the sign of Beyoncé’s beloved secret society. At her Super Bowl halftime performance in 2013, Beyoncé was seen holding up The Eye of Providence. With over 96.4 million people watching the Super Bowl every year, Beyoncé was definitely making a statement representing her pure devotion to the secret society. The Illuminati is typically run by people who have lots of money and are in the public eye. Knowing Beyoncé is a millionaire, it is not out of the realm of possibility that she would be asked to join the Illuminati.
Recently, a whistleblower confirmed the conspiracy that Beyoncé is a part of the Illuminati. Sad Boi, a twitterer with a raging 216 followers, has announced critical information about the US’s beloved Queen B.
“As most of you know, recently Beyoncé’s real pre-Illuminati identity has been revealed,” Mr. Boi tweets. “Her real name is Ann Marie Lastrassi and she is actually secretly Italian”.
Lying about her identity, Sad Boi’s statement alone is enough information to prove the destructive, Illuminati-like behaviors of Beyoncé. But if you are not yet convinced, I am sure that this next piece of information will knock your socks off.
Being in the Illuminati must be a significant part of Beyoncé’s life, and in being a singer/songwriter, it would make sense for her to mention some of her Illuminati ties within her lyrics.
In her song, Irreplaceable, released in 2006, Beyoncé can be heard singing lovely and catchy tunes. But little does the world know that these lyrics have a disturbing origin.
In the song, Beyoncé says, “You must not know ‘bout me, you must not know ‘bout me. I can have another you by tomorrow. Matter of fact he’ll be here in a minute, baby”.

These lyrics are up-front proving the power that Beyoncé holds while being in the Illuminati. She mentions how “you must not know ‘bout me” which is referring to her hidden old name and true self, Ann Marie Lastrassi. She then talks about how “I can have another you by tomorrow”. This is in reference to how Beyoncé can change someone’s life due to her role in the secret society. Just from one snap of a finger, Beyoncé is able to replace anyone and have more people bowing down to her. In this song, she is tormenting us with her egotistical ideology and the replaceableness of all of her “subjects”.
All in all, Beyoncé’s secret is not going unnoticed. She really thought she could hide this from her fellow civilians? Not on my watch. As more time passes, Beyoncé is just making more money and gaining more power. This evidence is indisputable. So to all of you prior non-believers, you should be feeling pretty silly for not realizing the truth before it got out of hand.